Being nice to yourself is not selfish

What is the point for our existence? Is it to suffer through life and just “suck things up” until we are lucky enough to have happiness? I am reading Jillian Michaels’ book Unlimited. In the book, she point blank tells the readers to get up and seek out their own happiness by making the choices to make life happen for them, not to them. As a result, I have put her words to work in my own life. Small changes of course, because you can only move forward one step at a time. We are here to enjoy our lives, not suffer through them.

First, I ditched the excuse that I was just “too sore” to work out. True, my joints have been a little sore. However, they do not impede me from exercising. In fact, all the reading up on any potential joint malady I may have can only be improved by regular exercise. Second, I reflected on things I used to do back when I “had time.” I remember practicing yoga, and loving it. Well, why can’t I do that now? I don’t have time? Right. I didn’t have time for it because it was not important enough for me. I changed that thought. I found two classes I can attend each week that are part of my gym membership. We make time for the things that matter to us. For me, the peace of mind and relaxation I feel from yoga is important enough for me to fit in a class at 8:00pm on a Tuesday night. It feels good to take care of me.

Taking care of me also means taking care of what I put in my body. For years now, I have wanted to become vegetarian. I tried it in college, but had the wrong focus: it was a diet, not a lifestyle. I feel strongly about the treatment of animals for our food supply. I am sickened by the abuse these creatures endure by both the handlers and the chemicals/ hormones they must ingest to make them plump and fit for eating. I worry that the chemicals and bacteria found in our food supply is not healthy for our consumption. I do not believe that the FDA is altruistic with their labeling. They are lobbied just as much as any other political office. Artificial food, additives, and processing strips food of its nourishment and negates the very reason for consuming it. I also believe that our mind/ emotions can be affected by what we eat. If we focus on a pure and natural diet, we will be more emotionally balanced. Being vegetarian is a lifestyle, not a diet, not a fad. I plan to embrace the lifestyle, one step at a time.

Coming to these few revelations has already lifted a burden off my shoulders. Being true to yourself and the needs you have can remove unnecessary stress from your life. After all, it is your life you have to live…no one else can do it for you. Move, then, towards your own happiness one step at a time.

Jillian Michaels, You Are Evil.

So, Let's just do a quick re-cap here...I've been yo-yoing with my weight ...well...since as long as I can remember. It was easy in high-school to stay fit because I ran cross-country. In college, I lost 15 pounds my freshmen year because I ran cross-country. Then...I stopped running regularily...and the weight crept on...slowly at first...until I reached what I thought would be my all time ever high...187. I panicked. I tried every weight loss gimmick I could find. Then, I joined Weight Watchers. In 8 months, I lost nearly 60 pounds. I was running again...I finally qualified for the Boston Marathon (a high point in my life, even today). Then, I got injured. This time the weight didn't creep on...it, well, seemed to stick over night. In one month I gained 20 pounds. I stutter started Weight Watchers too many times to count. Each year, I got progressively heavier. I stepped on the blasted scale, and cried...a new all time high...194. Something had to be done. With resolve this time, I joined Weight Watchers again. It seemed to be working for me. I lost 20 pounds in three months. I was on a roll...a healthy lifestyle seemed to have found its groove with me. Then, I got pregnant. That healthy lifestyle decided to fly south for the next 37 weeks. I know it's not good for your self esteem to weigh yourself while pregnant...I did anyway. Days before I went into labor, I topped the scale at 247 pounds. This is a number I never ever want to see again...pregnant or not. In fact, I believe the complications I had with my delivery (pre-term, LO in the NICU for 5 days) was directly related to my prenatal health. At six weeks post-partum (weighing 209), I joined Weight Watchers...again...but with a sense of changing my lifestyle, not implementing a diet. Four months later, all of my pregnancy weight was GONE! I was back to 175...my weight before I got pregnant. I thank my dedication, breastfeeding, and WW. However, since starting my journey, I have fallen into a rut, seven month rut. I gain a little, I lose a little..but in the end, I am still 175. Something had to change,
Enter in Jillian Michaels, the hardcore trainer from the Biggest Loser. I bought her 30 day Shred DVD, thinking that I could wing a 20 minute workout in the morning, plus do my regular workouts in the evening. Day 1...I felt the burn after Level 1. Didn't think too much of it, and chalked it up to being a good workout. Day 2...I thought my legs (all of them) would explode. I can't raise my arms over my head, and my torso aches when I twist in any direction. Yet, despite this pain, I think I am looking forward to tomorrow's session. Therein lies the evil in Jillian Michaels. She makes you want to feel pain. But, they do say "no pain, no gain." Let's get shredded!